Won't Be Fooled Again
by ttfan111robstar1
Summary: Missing scenelet from "Memoriam". Diana finally confronts William about leaving their family. William's response surprises her. Rated M for triggering material that is not suitable for some audiences.


Diana stood up from her seat as her son exited the room, deep in contemplation. She turned to face her estranged husband and smiled politely.

"Thank you for helping me set the record straight." He nodded.

"Of course. It's about time he learned the truth."

Diana nodded woodenly. "Yes it is."

Silence blanketed the room, and the tenseness in the air was too much for William.

"How have you been?" He asked. She smiled, but there was no warmth in it.

"Do you really care, Will?" It was a cold response that genuinely surprised him.

"I wouldn't have asked unless I did."

"I live in a sanitarium. No one visits me except our son, who moved across the country for his job. All I have are his daily letters."

Her tone chilled him. He had never heard her so disconnected from her emotions. He put a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry." He floundered for words but could only come up with one scene, playing over and over again in his mind. "Diane, about the day I left..."

She turned around so quickly that his hand fell from its place on her shoulder.

"Don't." She said, straining to keep her emotions in check.

"There's something you have to know."

She looked at him, wanting to fight him, but too emotionally exhausted and exasperated to do so. "What?"

"I didn't leave because I stopped loving you." Her face remained unchanged.

"It doesn't matter anymore." She said, turning away from him. He took her hand before she could leave.

"It does matter. I didn't stop caring about the both of you."

"The damage you caused in this family by leaving is unfixable. You can't change it with a few pretty words and a nice gesture. Do you understand the amount of pain you inflicted on us? Do you even care?"

"Of course I care!"

"No you don't." She retorted sharply. "If you had you wouldn't have gone in the first place." She laughed, albeit bitterly. "It's funny. I used to dream of this moment when you first left. I prayed for it, even. I wanted Spencer to have someone stable while I was hallucinating. I wanted to give him some sense of security. But when you left you took that with you too. He saw things no child should ever see. He heard things that I know must have broken his heart. And he will never be able to wash that away- no matter how much time passes. I guess I was an idiot to think that I could protect him from myself."

She pulled up her sleeve, revealing dozens of horizontal white scars on her forearm. William's eyes widened at the sight. She spoke again as she pushed her sleeve back into place.

"Your leaving almost destroyed me." She continued, "As much as I wanted to fall apart and never see the light of day again, I had to go on for Spencer. I thought about ending my life so many times those first few months after you left, but every day I told myself that my son needed me. That he deserved at least one good parent. So I went on, no matter how much I didn't want to. Eventually things got better and I wasn't suicidal anymore, but the knowledge that you willingly gave up your family for your own freedom still haunted me. I tried so hard to understand how you could do that to your son. I thought of dozens of scenarios in my head, but I still couldn't make sense of it. I could understand why you left me, with my illness on top of everything that happened, it wasn't hard to figure out. But I still hoped that maybe it was a fluke. For better or worse, right?" She shook her head sadly and laughed. "I was a fool to believe that we could make it through that as a family." She paused a moment and looked straight into his eyes, where he saw perfect clarity in her own. "But I won't be fooled again."

He wanted to say something, anything to express the depth of his own sadness, guilt, and still unresolved romantic feelings toward her, but nothing came out. She smiled at him.

"Goodbye, William."

With that, she left the room, leaving a stunned William in her wake.

The next day, Diana was back in the sanitarium. The enormous pressure from keeping the death of Gary Michaels a secret had been relieved, as had her own emotions regarding her husband. She had never been able to tell him everything that had happened as a result of his leaving. At last she had some closure. She was journaling in the day room when someone sat across from her. She looked up and was surprised to see her husband sitting there.

"What are you doing here, William?" It wasn't an angry phrase, nor was it bitter. It was just flat.

"I made the mistake of leaving you once, Diana. I'm not going to let you go again."

"What makes you think I would even want you back?"

"Haven't you ever wondered what would have happened if I hadn't gone?"

She had. All the time, actually. She still wondered about it on occasion. "Yes." She decided to be honest with him.

"Just give me one chance to prove to you that I'm not the man I was when I left. Please."

The look on his face softened her. Her resolve had been iron clad the day before. But now that all the anger was gone, what was left? She supposed she wouldn't have been so angry unless some part of her still cared about him. Could she let him back in? He smiled at her, and it served to warm her further.

She smiled slightly. "Okay."

His answering smile was dazzling. He leaned in and kissed her. It surprised her, but not enough that she pulled away. It melted her heart, and any ill will she had left for him evaporated. When they separated, she smiled. Maybe there was hope for them after all.


End file.
